I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
how drunk are you?
Several
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
