My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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