Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
