Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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