Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
