Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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