You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
