what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
