omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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