is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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