Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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