He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
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