did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
