I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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