I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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