I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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