Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
