Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
