Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
