we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
The air taste purple.
Randomize
