bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
