Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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