you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
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