I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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