I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
