Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
