What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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