THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
