Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
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