you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
