Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
a search helicopter?!
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
