Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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