Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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