Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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