He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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