She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
