Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Randomize
