everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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