Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Randomize
