My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
