gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
