I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
