yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
