make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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