I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
