I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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