a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
We are all done wearing pants today
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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