Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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