Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
