youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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